Dear 20 year old me.
Dear Me, right now .
Things are hard, twenty started off really great, but you’re not done healing from all that brokenness at the end of being 19. No , it didn’t magically go away. It’s okay to feel, don’t be afraid of your emotions, they were God given so you could feel , feel pain , feel joy , in all it’s extremities.
Stop being selfish, seriously your friends matter and you can be there for them in the midst of your own desert, it’s possible so just do it because these friends you have , they matter, and they love you , trust them, even if they break it , trust them because life is not meant to be lived protected. Tell them how much you care , even if they don’t tell you , show them you care even if they don’t show you . It’s important and it matters.
Oh also that whole desire with being married eventually , stop worrying about it , but let your guard down first , learn to let people in despite all the events that have taught you not too. It may be safer but there is absolutely no joy in isolation, so keep it open , when it hurts , when it’s awesome. Wounds only heal with air. It’ll happen you know in your deepest heart that it will so let it go and keep dreaming about it , don’t let immaturity of people take that dream away.
Do your homework , even if you don’t see the point , im sure it’s developing some character inside of you.
Take time to spend with your best friend , make it a priority , life’s gonna change and she’s not going to be in the bed across from you forever.
Love your school , you will never ever have this atmosphere again and it will be gone before you know it .
Oh also , let Steph in , if she’s the only one , she loves you and she cares and she’s not going to hurt you.
Above all girl , i know you’ve been broken and sometimes it feels like you’ve just been thrown into a washer being tumbled and hurt and rubbed up against but you still come out dirty and broken, but you’re not Christ died so you’d come out clean. You love God , but keep pressing on in the ability to love him and others more, make your life count , you only have 9 months left of being 20 , make the most of it. and learn to love yourself. Love you hair , love your smile , love your weird various laughs , love your scars and love your gifts.
Love you Girl
- You
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